Ah, first dates! They can be as unpredictable as Melbourne weather—sunny one moment, torrential downpour the next. So, you’ve just had what feels like a decent date, but there’s that niggling feeling at the back of your mind. Was it truly as good as you think, or were there red flags you might have missed while you were mentally planning your wedding (or at least your next date)?
Enter the concept of the “Post Date 8,” a nifty toolkit for post-date reflection inspired by dating guru Logan Ury. This guide isn’t just about spotting obvious deal-breakers—it’s about tuning into those subtle cues that might suggest this match isn’t quite the right fit for the long haul. So, grab a cuppa, and let’s dive into what to keep an eye out for after your next first date. And remember, if you’re keen on giving another potential match a whirl, download Anyplans to find your next maybe-more-than-a-mate.
1. The One-Way Conversation Street
Was your date more one-sided than a game of solitaire? If you found yourself nodding along as they rattled off their entire life story, work drama, and existential crises—without so much as a “How about you?”—you might have a classic case of a conversational narcissist on your hands. Remember, a good date is like a tennis match: the conversation should go back and forth.
2. The Ex Files
Did they mention their ex? Once, maybe excusable—slips happen. Twice? Mmm, proceed with caution. But if they brought up their ex enough times to rival the mentions of “Bitcoin” at a tech startup party, run! You don’t want to be the rebound or, worse, the therapist.
3. Manners MIA
Watch how your date treats those around you, especially service staff. If they were snapping at the waiter or acting entitled, remember that’s probably how they treat most people when you’re not around. Good manners never go out of style, and bad ones reveal a lot about a person’s character.
4. The Latecomer
Were they late? Things happen—trains run late, traffic piles up, and sometimes a dog really did eat their homework. But if they strolled in 20 minutes late with just a shrug, consider how they value your time and their commitment to first impressions.
5. Phone Home
If their phone saw more of their face than you did, that’s a bad sign. Unless they’re a surgeon on call, constant texting or scrolling through Insta stories can indicate where their priorities lie—or don’t.
6. Future Fever
Did they plan your future together before dessert was even ordered? While enthusiasm is charming, too much too soon can be a sign of love bombing—a red flag wrapped in what looks like Cupid’s bow.
7. The Bill Brouhaha
The awkward dance of who pays the bill can tell you a lot. Did they insist on paying but then complained about costs all evening? Or worse, did they expect you to cover the whole check when they ordered the lobster? This might hint at financial expectations moving forward.
8. Gut Check
Lastly, trust your gut. Our instincts are often the best red flag detectors. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore discomfort just because they have a cute dog or great hair.
Reflecting on these points post-date can save you from potential heartaches or at least from wasting time on Mr. or Ms. Wrong. Want more savvy dating advice? Check out our article ‘Dating Like a Scientist’ for tips on approaching your love life with the precision of a lab coat and goggles.
Remember, the world of dating is supposed to be fun—not a series of anxiety-inducing encounters with potential psychopaths. So arm yourself with these tips, download Anyplans, and go find someone who passes the Post Date 8 with flying colours—or at least more greens than reds. Happy dating!
